miss moo’s blog!!!

   I read a bulletin about the oh-so-suffering of guys and girls,come a relationship (post and pre). It came from both sides,so its biased.

   The only opinion i have about it is to be mature,try to understand the art of equalizing a relationship,know your roles (as per gender)and know (or at least try to;you can talk it over anyways)where you stand in your relationship.  Also, know your limitations, your perfections and otherwise, always think through what you’re about to do and what you have done.  Never kang susumbat bigla,isipin mo muna kung anung nangyari on both sides,if you only think about your right and the others’ wrong,you’re not going to solve anything.

    Sure there’s always bias, di naman mawawala yun, the best solution talaga is good communication with your partner.  Differnces are always gonna be there,it’s inevitable.

    Besides,if one keeps bitching about the other,then what’s the whole point of being in a relationship or even wanting one?

Geez,crazy kids.

After four gruelling years of busting our asses (well, not alwyas =p) in college, we’ve finally reached the moment we’ve all been waiting and working for: GRADUATION. Now that we’re done with it, we have to start busting our asses now looking for jobs and thinking,"am i gonna get in, am i gonna get in?" Good grief. Now I understand why some people don’t actually wanna leave college! But hey,t’least I can say I’m a degree holder now! HAHAHAHA! World of unemployed, here I come! *whoooooooshhhhhhhh!!!!!!*

     I wasn’t planning to start this entry with a heaping dose of ego, but here it goes: I’ve always had a way with words, i mean expressing it written or oral. Sometimes it just comes and I write (ehem,type) it down and sometimes, it’s forced (like an essay or a report). But nonetheless, I have a way with words. The problem is though, when these ‘words’ i spit out start emulating my emotions, it doesn’t come out as clear as my other ‘wordly’ works. Okay, confused much? Lemme put it more bluntly. I have this thing of (pretty much) invalidating the things I say. Prior to my previous entries where I have either said I’m scared of commitment or am looking for my L-word, still here I am, now, in a relationship (and I outline it in red too). I’m  not saying it’s a bad thing, quite the contrary actually. But to those who I’ve preached to about the horrors of being in a relationship, given the chance, they’d strangle me and chant: Hypocrite. I know I also have an anomalous association with hypocrisy, but c’mon, everyone’s a hypocrite in their own ways (don’t even try defense people!) So bottomline, L-word is the word I’m looking for (uh,found?) and Hypocrisy is the word that’s haunting me.

** this is the most personal crap here yet.shield your eyes. **

      I think my lovelife, or lustlife, as I’d prefer to call, it is cursed.  Cursed by those stupid love chain shit that the shoddy internet is spewing, either that or my dad cursed me.  I don’t necessarily believe the chain stuff, I mean, who does?  It’s all in the mind and the person who controls their lives. But I’m starting to think someone else is pulling the strings here.  Here I am, 20, and still no serious relationship to speak of.  Not that I want one in a snap, but it’s just that I think I should have one or I should have HAD one, in the least.  C’mon, 15year olds are already claiming that they’ve been in love or had experienced it, and here I am, still looking for the meaning of that oh-so-elusive L-word!!!

     I dunno if it’s because (a.) i don’t treat guys seriously, (b.)they don’t treat me seriously, (c.) I haven’t found that person,yadda,yadda,yadda or (d.) I’m too cynical/pessimistic to give it a chance.  Some say I’m scared to commit, agreeable at times, especially when I enter something that ends badly.  But isn’t it usually gut instinct that tells us when love is love and not love-lust?  Or you just kind of realize that you’ve been with a guy longer than your set expiry date, and that’s when you realize you’re in love with that person.  Hmm..maybe my gut instinct has short-circuited or my expiry dates just get shorter and shorter. 

     I guess, the reason why I’m scared to commit is because I’m really afraid.  Reason? I’ve hooked up with guys who don’t bother to hide their slob and treat girls horribly (dun worry,i made damn sure they got theirs…ha!) and I have heard waaaaaay too many testosterone induced stories of my guy friends’ …ehemm…"multi-tasking" (and dig this,they’re in "serious" relation-blahs themselves!).  THAT"S why. I guess.  But I’ve yet to have professional help or opinion.  I guess I’ve just witnessed too many playing-arounds (guilty!) that it makes my level of trust a little more shorter than others.  I mean, it’s hard for me to like, give myself when there’s that fear that when I do, I’m gonna get screwed! (not THAT screwed,perv) In short,I guess I’m scared of karma.  I know,I’ve not been that girl you’d bring home to mom, and I know I’ve broken a few hearts here and there (that was UNINTENTIONAL I SWEAR!) and of course, I wish that I could undo some of the things I did, but I also had a reason.  I was just looking out for myself.  If that behavior is to be saluted as feminism, fine, but just keep it in moderation, coz, whichever way we put it, girls are still more emotional than guys and girls still have a harder time recovering from emotional blows. (unless you’re extremely skilled in numbing yourself)

   So in conclusion (mine, at least =) the reason why I’m still ignorant about the L-word is coz I’m scared of it’s consequences, I’m scared to trust too much and I’m scared to compromise my freedom and other single-girl-just-hooking-up advantages. But I know, eventually, I’ll be able to strip off this tough cookie facade and get there.

    "Love like you’ve never been hurt."  I really oughta listen to that.

     Ever checked in your coin purse only to find that all you have left are those annoying 10 and 5 centavo coins? Well, I have, and yes, I used to be annoyed by it (operative words: used to). Though I have nothing against them and don’t throw them away, I never thought them to be necessary as they only add extra weight and jangle to your purse. It’s actually my mom who puts them in my coin stash, like, a coin fairy. But then, my irritation for said coins changed a couple days ago, on my way home when i found out i had absolutely no money left except for the last 6pesos that only alloted me one jeep ride. And I needed two. Short of considering walking all the way home (and believe me,it’s not exactly a walk in the park), I last resort checked my coin purse. Thankfully,there was 4 one-peso coins left and 7 twenty-five cents. I was still short of 25 cents! And since jeep drivers at our place were stingy, i had to pay the whole 6 pesos. I looked some more and found, sure enough, my annoying 10 and 5 cents. As if by some sort of fateful mockery, those annoying coins made up exactly what I lacked for me to get home. Sigh of relief, I didn’t have to walk all that distance home. Thanks to those annoying bronze coins.

     So, the next time you see those coins in your purse and think about throwing it out, think again. It might just give someone else a meal.

     And it just might get you home. =)

      Okay, so I haven’t exactly been to one of those yet. But I was just wondering how that would be. Women of different walks of life milling about in some swanky hotel conference room, swapping information and starting the conversation with a little something that sounds like, "Hi,I’m Jane,Bi." and then "Oh,hello,I’m Shiela,strictly lesbian."

     Whoa. That’d be super.

***no offense to gay women of all walks of life (as i am one of them)***

***if you don’t get the humor,don’t bother,you probably never will***

     Have you ever seen a mustard stain on a shirt? Or rather have you ever actually experienced getting one? You see that gooey glob of yellowness on your shirt and you think "oh,I’ll get that out later…" only to find out that it’s spread and stuck to your shirt so badly that you don’t even know where to begin removing it anymore.

     There are problems we consider much like a furniture mess and we can see that mess from afar, therefore we’ll know when and how to remove it. Yet, there are problems that are much like mustard; it drips slowly, spreads, sticks and is very, very hard to remove. Sometimes you don’t even know you have one already until it’s too late. When that stain sticks, it’s hard finding a way to wear your shirt again. Then you’ll start thinking somewhere along the lines of: "I should’ve gotten this out sooner"  or "I should’ve seen this earlier". Either ways, you get a " I should have…" mentality. But much like certain problems arises, it’s hard to see when and where it’s gonna come from.

     So until anyone finds a way to stop a mustard stain from occuring or how to get it out, let me know.

>>> Just can’t reeeezeezzt this song <<<

Emily (From First To Last)

Smiles and her laughter

Its the only thing that I’ve been waiting for all time

Regardless of our distance and our hopes

Coz we’re trapped by pretty eyes and laughter for all time

The only thing that I’ve been waiting for

I hope its something worth the waiting

Its the only thought that I ever felt real

Thunderstorms could never stop me

Coz there’s no one in the world like Emily

She’s simple yet confusing

Her sparkling eyes make me weak and my words they tremble

Days seem like years in this month of December

The winter coldens me for I have yet to sleep

And never will I give up trying coz she’s everything to me

I hope it’s something worth the waiting

Coz it’s the only thought that I ever felt real

Thunderstorms will never stop me

Coz there’s no one in the world like Emily

There’s no one in the world like Emily

I do not trust, so i cannot love (Can’t no man be trusted?)
I would not dare to open up
Well my rent’s past due and now my car won’t start
I hate the bus (Well, at least you’ve got someone to talk to)

Tell me what do they see when they look at me?
Do they see my many personalities?
Can you help me? Does anybody hear me?
Can they even see me?
This is my reality.

I’ll say it again, you’re my only friend (I protect you from the world, I basically protect you from yourself)
Though I can’t go on, I’m not satisfied
With this being the end (Hmm, this is just the beginning)

Tell me why can’t I just reach out and simply touch the sky?
Tell me why can’t I spread my arms and fly and fly and fly?
Tell me why can’t I say this? Why can’t I do that?
Tell me what do they want from me?
Tell me how to act.

So I’m putting it all on the table
You don’t know mw well enough
To label me sick, or even disturbed
When you break it down I’m just two girls
Trying to blend trying to fight
Trying to live just one life (It’s so hard)

Everybody’s got insanities
I have a split personality.

I’m a mess of insecurities
Attention starved with a narcissistic twist
Don’t you think that I’m amazing?
Please tell me I’m worth dating
I have every reason not to leave home today

Mirror, mirror, how amazing is my figure?
Your visitors they fall apart before my pictures
Mirror, how amazing is my figure?
Your visitors they fall apart before my pictures

Please don’t believe my words are lacking honesty
I’ll be the girl you can’t resist
You’ll be the tenth boy on my list
I’ll write your name upon my chest
These less than three’s will never rest
Please don’t believe my words are lacking honesty

Mirror, mirror, how amazing is my figure?
Your visitors they fall apart before my pictures
Mirror, how amazing is my figure?
Your visitors they fall apart before my pictures

You’ll be the last boy on my list
action’s just a click away
these things photographs could never say

Please don’t believe my words are lacking honesty